Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions very well, but if I did, my first resolution of 2010 would be to write 5 blogs every week for my ravenous fans.

Of course, I don’t have any fans, ravenous or otherwise, but I read somewhere that the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time; and the way to begin the journey of a 1,000 miles is with one step; and the way to properly brown cooked meat is to dry it with a paper towel. I don’t believe that that last one has much to do with writing, unless you happen to be Julia Childs, in which case, it will earn you thousands of dollars and many ravenous fans (literally).

However, if I did do New Years’ resolutions, here are what they would be:

1) Obey God at any cost

Sadly, I discovered in 2009 the very painful consequence of disobeying God, namely, a broken engagement. If you have ever had the misfortune of falling in love with someone, being engaged, and then having that sundered, I pray God heals your heart, for it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. Fortunately, friends and family have been very supportive, and I am healing, though it is a very slow process.

2) Finish what I start

I am currently 2/3 finished with my novel Blood Children; 1/3 finished with an untitled (though very good) faery tale; 1/10 finished with an interesting fictional memoir about sleep paralysis; and 95% finished with a long short story called “The Choice.”

I am very excited to announce that my friend Wes has procured me 9 days in March at his aunt’s house in Lincoln City, Oregon, where I will seclude myself with a stack of books, another stack of research articles, a large thermos of hot chocolate, my laptop, and a bound and gagged Muse who will help me finish the middle third of Blood Children; whereafter, I can spend the rest of 2010 polishing it off, sending it to an editor, and thickening up my skin for the rejection letters soon to follow.

3) Write more poetry

I learned in the beginning of 2009 that poetry is actually very helpful for prose writing. I discovered a mathematical formula that equates the amount of poetry written to the amount of useful prose:

(y stanzas X z lines) X .037 = # of useful prose lines

Properly calculated, this means that I produce, on average, 2 lines of useful prose for every 54 lines of complete poetic dogshit, which is still far more efficient than all of the economic stimulus plans produced in 2009.

Now, as this is a writing blog, I think it would be unfair of me to talk about my creative work without giving you a demonstration thereof. So, here are a couple of stanzas that I wrote during a worship service at my church (and again, if you find any of these lines emotionally gripping, remember the above mentioned formula).


Shallow pools hide deeper waters

and quiet streams flow to hidden caves

but my soul is a desperate Gobi

lapping at pools of mud


Peaceful dreams of kings

bring the din and roar of thunder

and only fools cry silence

to a night shattered by screams


Finally, in a completely non-sequitur move, I leave you with a belated 2009 Christmas gift: my very cute niece Abby, producing her very first magic trick.

Published in: on January 4, 2010 at 8:35 am  Comments (1)  
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  1. […] must keep in mind my poetic formula mentioned in an earlier […]

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